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  • How it Works
  • Order A Music Review
  • About
  • Contact
  • Music & Reviews

Guaranteed Music Review

Professional, timely reviews for your ALBUM or SINGLE...GUARANTEED.

  • How it Works
  • Order A Music Review
  • About
  • Contact
  • Music & Reviews

About

We love music.
We love how music makes us feel inspired,
how it can take us back in time,
or how it can instantly change the mood of any situation.
We believe music can change the world—even when no one is listening.

We are searching—endlessly—for music that does that.
We believe it’s yours.

Order a Music Review

Guaranteed Music Review was created in conjunction with The Ark of Music by independent musician Noah James Hittner after a long and arduous search conducted in 2014 in an attempt to gain press for his second solo album. Currently, GMR is owned and operated by indie-folk musician Jess Chizuk. Passionate about true musical talent, Guaranteed Music Review is dedicated to discovering—and providing greater exposure for—the unheard-of, independent, and small label musicians of planet Earth. Whether the music is old or new is of no concern. We only care that it’s authentic, and likely, under-appreciated as of yet.

Guaranteed Music Review provides professional, timely reviews for your ALBUM or SINGLE…GUARANTEED. We provide this service for a reasonable fee. We then publish these music reviews on The Ark of Music—a platform designed as a place where music fans everywhere can come to discover what we feel is the best music in the world.

Our music reviews are so thorough (including interviews, playlists, tour schedules, videos, and more) that we like to think of them as Online Music Press Kits. We also deliver our music reviews to our subscribing fans via our Music-Discovery E-newsletter. So you see, we are creating more than just music reviews. We are also creating instant publicity for you and your music. (For complete details, click on How It Works.)

Regarding the idea of writing music reviews for payment…
We are aware that the idea of providing music reviews in exchange for payment brings up some questions. So here’s the deal:

  1. Professional writers who happen to write for big-name publications (such as Spin, Rolling Stone, Vibe, Pitchfork, etc.) are getting paid by their employers. Those we’ve named here are giants in the business. They make lots of money from advertising. We are a small company using minimal ads. Thus, in order for our staff to be compensated, we must charge the artists directly. It’s a simple idea.
  2. Every day there are more and more DIY artists recording music in their basements and bedrooms, and releasing it to the world. These no-names are every bit as deserving as the big pop stars (if not more-so) of being reviewed in a professional and timely manner. Our guaranteed service evens the playing field for these small/indie-artists.
  3. If we’ve reviewed the music, it’s because we found talent in the music, it’s because the music inspired us in some capacity and we felt it was worth sharing with the world—it’s that simple. We absolutely do not provide false-positive reviews.
  4. If, on occasion, we feel that an artist has submitted music that we feel is fundamentally sub-par (I.E., vocals are off-key, instrumentation is not in-time, poor quality recording, juvenile lyrics, etc.), is otherwise unappealing due to violent or offensive content, and generally does not represent the creative culture we are trying to create, it is then our policy to respectfully decline writing the music review and promptly refund the artist’s money. (Yes, we’ve done this on a number of occasions.) There is no reason to write about/criticize music we don’t like. What would be the point of that?
  5. Finally, this is not a hobby project. We are professional grade. Guaranteed Music Review & The Ark of Music are the primary “legs” of our parent company, The Ark of Music LLC. We take our company and our work very seriously. We work hard and pays taxes. Thus, we strive to represent ourselves—and our artists/customers—with the utmost professionalism and integrity.

Order a Music Review


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Testimonials

“…they know their stuff and they gave a great comprehensive analysis. I love the way they break the review into sections. Very well written!”  

--Ben Kiehl (The Albatross)

“The Ark of Music is the best. They have a very professional team. I had an amazing experience with you guys.”  

--Parjam Parsi

“Very grateful to The Ark of Music for their appreciation and love of music, and for their support to independent artists like myself.”  

--Toni Castells

“Thank you so much for the review and taking the time to process and reflect on my music… It’s a great service you provide for artists… A good experience for me.”  

--Stuart Pike (Skinny The Apocalypse)

“I really loved the way you guys took the time to listen to the entire album and analyze the songs. Thank you very much, I really can’t put into words how grateful I am to you guys. Thanks again. Will be recommending you to any indie artist looking for a review, and I will be asking you guys to review my next album too.”  

--Sambadi Majumder

“So fast and efficient. Nice people to work with. Willing to communicate if you have questions. Gave me more than I bargained for. Thankful!”  

--Stephanie Jeannot (J-Note)

“There’s an authentic feel to this music blog that isn’t found on other sites. The writers really listen and try to find unique aspects of a song, a record, or an artist…  

--Frank Migliorelli and The Dirt Nappers

“These guys are absolutely brilliant. They gave me the most amazing review, which I am still so chuffed about. Highly recommend these guys if you want your music reviewed.”  

--Stuart Francis (Spectre)

“It made me so proud… The interviewer did their homework and took a genuine interest in the project. Blown away by the process in every step of the way. 10/10”  

--Brian Ciamarra (iamCURBIE)

“Blown away really. Outstanding and quite stunning. Great detail and the page is as professional as I’ve ever seen. Thank you…”  

--Dave Franco (Too Much Saturn)

“…a great review… really appreciate the experience and response from everyone… I truly recommend working with them…”  

--Adelbert Clerge (NYM)

“They actually care about new music discovery and spreading the word in a market where there is an overwhelming flow of thin summaries and rote re-hashing of press releases. Definitely a quality group of music enthusiasts with a mission!””  

--Frank Migliorelli

“…creative, thoughtful, and insightful. It’s clear to us that these guys take time to listen to tracks and albums and really get into them. I would recommend The Ark of Music to any artists looking for well-written, professional reviews for their latest release.”  

--Judah Dylan (Crime Nite)

“You knew what to write about intuitively because you actually listened to the record. Our thanks for your endeavor. If you need a good review done, get it done here. You won’t regret it. Thanks again.”  

--Jeff McMullen (South of Reality)

“…the writing team at The Ark Of Music give artists the surety their music will be respectfully reviewed. They’re extremely good at writing in depth reviews that provide a precise, true feel of the music they highlight for their readers. The result is a win, win for the artist and reader alike.”  

--Theresa Marchione, Tarock Music

“…very detailed and expertly written. …attentive and steadfast with getting the results they had promised. I am extremely pleased with the service provided and will consider this option first the next time I release a project.”  

--Michael Lee (KEez)

“I am so grateful to music venues like The Ark of Music for scouting and reviewing independent artists. Keep up the good work.”  

--Peter Unger

“It’s simple: For an insightful, true and career enhancing review, reach out to the folk at The Ark Of Music. Many thanks my friends!”  

--Steven Blane

“This was a very professional review focused on details and the overall intent of the album.”  

--Pablo Embon

“They did quite a bit of research on myself as an artist and it showed in their review of my album and in the interview questions they sent. Already my plays and streams have increased… I look a little more “legit” to my friends and family who think I’m wasting all my time recording records in my basement. Will definitely use again, thank you!”  

--Alex Stanilla

“…the review is an outstanding writing piece. …probably the best article I’ve read so far as a music review. Thank you so much for the attention paid to this album.”  

--Pablo Embon

“…their services are great… the reviews are solid…”  

--Norman Nyigor (Son Of Age)

“I loved the experience of having you review my album… I love all the references, and I’ll be using quotes from your review when I share my songs on social media… Thank you so very much…”  

--Henric Johansson (Enrich)

“Great album review. I received a very nice response, and it has not even been 24 hours yet. Thanks much!”  

--Jeffrey Hull (Mad Hugs)

“You guys provide an invaluable service and support for upcoming artists! It was a pleasure working with you. I will definitely recommend you to other musicians. Thanks a lot!”  

--Milutin Krašević (Bones In Butter)

“Fantastic service, such an in-depth review, is very obvious the reviewer really had a good listen to the album and put out a really professional, well-thought-out review. Love the quoted lyrics aspect. Will definitely be coming back for my next album.”  

--Robbie Maroon

“I was more than pleased with my experience. The honest review really helped shed new light on my project. As an artist, validation is hard to come by, but The Ark of Music really gave me a boost of confidence.”  

--Antonio Dudley

“Gotta say I really appreciate you guys finding my music and sharing it with the world. Sometimes it’s hard to reach new fans, and you guys raise to the occasion and get the word out. Thanks so much for getting me on the radar. Keep Rockin!”  

--Tyler Colt

“…a professionally-written review… validating what we suspected all along–that we have some pretty good songs! Thanks for the affirmation!”  

--Donatas Ramanauskas (Dead Freddie)

“I’m so pleasantly surprised by your review… Excellent on attention to detail… You guys rock… Thank you very much.”  

--Jose Duque (JORODU)

“Thanks for putting so much into the listening and writing of the review, very pleased!”  

--Jeffrey Hull (Mad Hugs)

“They walked me through the submission process when I was too daft to fully read/grasp the concept of things. (haha) Great experience!”  

--Tim Woodbridge (Sleepwar)

“Excellent work. I am really happy we connected. I recommend your services wholeheartedly.”  

--Jay Elle

“The folks at Guaranteed Music Review were professional and responsive. I enjoyed working with them and consider them a good choice for anyone looking for a thorough review. I’ll be back with my next project.”  

--Sid Hagan

“I was very happy with the authentic review of my album. The process was straight forward and understandable. The customer service was excellent! Great job, Guaranteed Music Review team!”  

--Jeff Strand

“It’s obvious these guys really put a lot of thought into my music and the review they wrote for it. They had insights I hadn’t thought of before, and I really appreciate what they said! I will definitely be back for my next release.”  

--Calvin Bauer (Zap! The Band)

“Thank you! I was amazed by the care put in the article. You have listened carefully to the songs and have caught so much of the spirit of the album. Not easy to get a nice review for this niche genre, but you did it. Great assistance and social exposure also, huge service. You guys seriously rock, wish the best for your site.”  

--Dario Rossi (Omega Kid)

“Great service, delivery 100% satisfied. Recommend as part of your media strategy! ***** 5stars”  

--Diane Dillard (Katie Belle)

“Excellent service… very professional and detailed. I’ll definitely be recommending to friends when they are about to release music. Really made my day!”  

--Adam Naylor

“…took the time to really appraise my album and look at the deeper aspects of it, which really meant a lot to me. Long live The Ark Of Music!”  

--Charles Luck (Black Astronaut)

“The best experience ever!”  

--Ali Hugo

“Wow! I have never had a review of my music that was so positive. Not only that, it seemed the reviewer actually listened to the whole album. And remarkably, he had insight into the songs that even I didn’t realize! Thank you SO much for this.”  

--Toby Tune

“Great balance of professional and friendly. I’m honored to be a part of this!”  

--Topher McGill

“…prompt, well organized… I would recommend The Ark of Music to any artist that needs a quality review.”  

--Daniel Goldberg (Citizen Gold)

“…such a beautiful review. I feel understood and met, and deeply appreciative. Thank you immeasurably for supporting this music…”  

--Deborah Savran

“…emphasized the most important aspects of the project, almost as though they were reading our minds and translating. Without any overt selling, they created something that will really give people the feeling for the album. We will definitely be using GMR again…”  

--Steve Markoff & Patricia Lazzara

“Great writers. Why are they different? Because they listen. As a musician, that’s all you could ever ask for. Not only do they listen, they appreciate.”  

--Jeff McMullen

“Thanks for review and helping us spread the word about our music. It’s tough out there and outlets like yours help artists and listeners connect and reach each other. We enjoyed the review. Keep on doing what you’re doing.”  

--Mathew Daugherty (Roam Like Ghosts)

“Quality work! Attentive listening to the music, good understanding of what’s happening, apt synopsis for the reader. Recommended for both artists and readers.”  

--Kenny Peters (Hooyoosay)

“…extremely professional. The review they did was exceptional… I’m talking about the attention to detail and the research they did. Several times I caught myself thinking ‘Wow! They researched that thoroughly!’ I was so impressed on their level of professionalism, it far exceeded what I was expecting.”  

--Chris Rehm (Key West Chris)

“Great service, will use again 🙂 ”  

--Godwin Debattista (S.O.S)

“Absolutely brilliant and utterly professional. Highly recommended!”  

--Stuart Francis (Spectre)

“Thank you for taking time to recognize all of us indie performers. You’re truly a credit to the music industry.”  

--Pablo Cuneo (Nanoblu)

“…customer service, first rate. Thoroughly insightful review, they truly listened. Would recommend anytime. 5 stars. Will be definitely using the services of GMR again…”  

--Galliano Sommavilla

“The Ark of Music has such a great mission and website to help promote new music. I’m grateful for their review and support!”  

--Kimberly Jean

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